Won’t lock

Just been out to the shop (short trip) and the door locks were making odd clicking noises whilst driving. Parked up and tried to lock it, no joy.
Checked the dash to see if it thinks there is a door open. No.
Opened and closed every door and boot and petrol flap. Same.

It is sitting in the drive, open, and occasionally making repeated lock attempts… like a short burst of machine gun fire (only much quieter).
Now I am $%^d, I can’t park the car anywhere.
That means I can’t use it.

Won’t lock from the phone app either.